unhooked

its been awhile since i've written something...primarily because i had no inspiration before i read an article in the new york times

the hookup: does it inhibit the ability to have a true relationship?

First and foremost, the title of this blog post is that of the real book...i'm planning on checking it out for pure curiousity

secondly, i wonder if the author is right...i wonder if random hookups are indeed inhibiting our generation's ability to have a real relationship. since i've been rather cryptic in this blog about myself, i'll give a hint: i'm in the 18-25 age bracket...although i feel next year will begin the perpetuatal cycle of remaining the same age

back to the purpose of this blog...i think that random hookups may inhibit one's ability to truly open oneself up to relationships. however, i believe the greater problem is the inorbinent number of women who must make the choice between suffering in silence by being lonely OR the hookup.

unfortuantely, we are no longer in the era where men ask women on dates every day...meeting them at their doorstep with a long stem rose to go on a date. in fact, no one really dates anymore...period. most women are one of the following: 1) have NO relationship/dating/ hookup life whatsoever, 2) have a random hookup every once in a while, 3) have a hookup buddy, or 4) (seems like the vast minority of educated women) in a relationship. some of the more fortunate are in relationships but for the majority of us, that possibility seems as likely as winning 100 million in the powerball lottery. in fact, i think i have better odds of winning the millions...

but back to the point: although the hookup may injure the ability to be in relationships, what is a young woman who is hopelessly single to do? certainly waiting for the magical day her door will be broken down by young suitors anxiously awaiting to take her to a movie is painstakingly illogical. similarly keeping oneself busy in an attempt to avoid the pangs of singlehood is equally unsatisfying. at some point, you have to sit down and think...and that moment, you realize that again, you're sitting by yourself, your girlfriends, or your pet of choice

so i pose the question: if you, like myself, are one of the majority of successful, fairly good looking women who are perpetually single...who seem to be the perfect "best friend/ advisor/ wish i had met you before", is it better to suffer in silence and pretend you don't mind being single for what seems like the majority of your 20s or have a hookup everyone once and a while to keep you sane?

any suggestions would be greatly appreciated

i wish it would rain down on me....

ok, no, not really...but its a great song by phil collins

Seriously though...i've been thinking lately...how is life supposed to work? My question de jure, how are relationships supposed to work? How do they get started if both people just sit there and twiddle their thumbs?

I tried the "let me sit there and patiently wait" and managed to find the polar opposite of what i was looking for...twice. Then i did a 180 and tried the "let me go out" and found nothing at all. Now, i'm trying nothing...don't know what to try. When you are yourself, you open yourself up to getting hurt. When you keep closed, no one approaches and you sit in the recesses of your loneliness.

I wish there were a manual somewhere that said what works and what doesn't. I'm not that hardheaded...if i had directions, i would follow them.

I've been waiting for someone...that knight in shining armour to come and sweep me off my feet. Is that a delusion taught to little girls to keep them occupied with their shiny dolls? Do guys like that still exist or are they all so damaged from horrible women that they no longer have that sparkle in their eyes.

If i knew the answer to these questions, i'd be on larry king live and npr instead of in the frozen tundra attending law school.

oh well..thought i'd vent